i dont understand why it is that i cant write anymore. is it complacency? i cant even count how many times i have started an entry and then just decided to delete it completely because it isnt what i want.

all genius requires a little madness, and i feel as if ive lost that madness. while that may sound good, maybe its not so much complacency as it is despair. with this upcoming year...its hard not to get "deep".

thinking about graduating and enter the banal workforce is frightening. the good ole nine to five, rush hour traffic, workplace chit-chat, and disgusting cafeteria food stains on your tie...or maybe you'll be lucky and it'll be casual friday so you wont be wearing your tie.

how is it possible that our time in college has gone by so quickly? do you remember the end of your freshman year when you packed all your stuff and was ready to move out? taking a look around your empty room you couldnt help but to play some sappy WB show style song in your head and reflect on all the crap you experienced in your first year...

and now what? now we have to play in our heads the series finale....where we are all laughing or crying...and playing a bunch of cut scenes from the previous episodes...the good times and the bad with some song like "i will remember you" or "time of your life" or hell why not even "till the end of the road".

so the question then remains, has college lived up to your expectations? i dont think any of us can say that it was exactly what we expected....but nevertheless it was certainly an experience.

im trying to remember what it was that i thought going to school would be like... i remember at that time, senior year in hs, i was watching a lot of felicity and that had a big influence.

before i went off to school i figured that i would be in a frat, work at a bar, play ultimate frisbee, take fencing classes, have lengthy conversations about politics with cute girls with black framed glasses, and truly love the pursuit of knowledge.

ha! thats all i have to say. these past three years has revolved around me ditching as many math related classes as possible, and then bullshitting the work that was required of me at the last minute. while i cant say i regret the past three years, i can definitely say i sometimes wish it played out differently.

but hey que sera sera. im still happy to be where i am.

fight.on.trojans.